RELATED: Never Say These 5 Words at a Funeral, Expert Warns. August Abbott, PhD, a relationship counselor and etiquette expert on JustAnswer, who spent 40 years teaching etiquette classes, says the worst thing you can say to someone who just retired is some version of a message that connects their retirement to their mortality, such as, “I hope you live long enough to really enjoy it.” Cringe-worthy as that misstep may sound, she confirms, “Yes, I’ve heard this said out loud—and worse, people recounting all the people they’ve known or even heard of who retired and died shortly thereafter. Oh my heavens, no, no, no!” RELATED: Never Say These 4 Words at a Wedding, Etiquette Expert Warns. Abbott also recommends not offering any heavy-handed advice on what to do in retirement: These matters are very personal. “Another thing we should keep to ourselves is advice on how to live on retirement,” she says. “No talk about where they really need to put their money or what vacations to take or pretty much anything else that’s frankly none of our business or concern.” When speaking with someone who’s retiring or just retired, keep the tone light and positive. “Wish them a happy retirement,” Abbott says. Ask cheerful questions, like “what they plan on doing first, second, long-term, keeping it light,” she suggests, perhaps offering “fun” banter about the joy of throwing away those alarm clocks and calendars for good.ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb RELATED: For more etiquette advice delivered straight to your inbox, sign up for our daily newsletter. Indeed, Abbott says, the best thing you can do when talking to someone who just retired is to focus on the fun and positive aspects of the new development, even though it may also have its downsides for the person in question. “Personally, when I retired from structured work the first thing I did was get rid of all of my watches and to this day I absolutely refuse to wear a watch,” she says. “Time no longer owns me. If it’s daylight, I get up. If it’s not daylight, I watch TV or do what I want to do with my evenings. And if I get tired, I go to bed. Life is good!” RELATED: The One Word You Should Never Say to Someone Who’s Angry, Experts Say.
